One Question to Ask When Anxious: 'What Is Within My Power to Change Right Now?'

02

The True Cause of Our Exhaustion: Clinging to What We Cannot Control

Have you ever spent sleepless nights fretting over 'What if I make a mistake?' before an important exam or presentation, waiting anxiously for feedback on a submitted report, or agonizing over conflicts with family or friends? We often assume the cause of our anxiety is the looming event itself. In reality, however, what truly exhausts us is the attempt to hold onto and control things that lie completely outside our power.

Other people's moods and judgments, events that have already happened, or tomorrow's yet-to-arrive outcomes cannot be changed right now, no matter how much you agonize over them. The harder you try to force change upon what cannot be changed, the less you achieve, leaving only deeper feelings of helplessness and fatigue.

03

The Dichotomy of Control: Dividing What Is Within Your Reach and What Is Not

To preserve peace of mind, ancient Stoic philosophers divided life's challenges clearly into two domains: 'things that are up to us' and 'things that are not up to us.' How someone else views you or what the final outcome of an exam or interview will be are beyond your reach. Conversely, the attitude you adopt right now, the preparation you undertake, and the words you choose to speak are entirely within your hands.

Psychological research demonstrates a similar principle. Rather than obsessing emotionally over external outcomes you cannot alter, focusing on actions you can directly influence significantly reduces stress and emotional burnout. This does not suggest irresponsibly neglecting outcomes. It means reclaiming precious energy that would otherwise be drained by anxiety, redirecting it entirely toward 'the best preparation I can make right now.'

• Beyond Your Control (What to let go): Other people's moods and evaluations, final exam or interview results, past mistakes, others' reactions
• Within Your Control (What to focus on): A kind word spoken today, 5 minutes spent reviewing materials, an honest attitude in rectifying a mistake, concrete actions you can start right now

04

A Questioning Habit to Redirect Your Attention When Worry Surges

When anxiety spirals relentlessly, the simplest way to hit the brakes is to ask yourself a single question: 'Wait, what part of this can I actually change right now through my own efforts?'

This question anchors attention—once scattered across an uncertain future—back to what your hands and feet can do in this present moment. The vague worry of 'What if they think I'm incompetent?' transforms into clear action: 'Let me spend 5 minutes checking presentation slides for typos.' The fear of 'What if I fail the exam?' turns into actionable practice: 'Let me read the explanation for this incorrect answer one more time.'

When you humbly accept that outcomes are beyond your control and dedicate yourself to your share of the actions, ambiguous anxiety fades and a grounded sense of personal agency returns.